this feeling of despair,it's never wearing out

walking away is not the same as running
is it to you now that you running in this ground
and you say, "take this, this medicine is just what you deserve"
swallow, choke, and die
and this bitter pill is leaving you with such an angry mouth
one that's void of all discretion such an awful tearing sound
with it's measure only equal by the power of my stare
glaring over you and over you
this feeling of despair is never wearing out
it's wearing off and it's leaving you with such a heavy heart
and a head to match the bottle is waiting
the cap is twisted begging to be used and so are you
and this bitter pill is leaving you with such an angry mouth
one that's void of all discretion such an awful tearing sound
with it's measure only equal by the power of my stare
glaring over you and over you
this feeling of despair is never weeeeeeeeeearing out
wearing ouuuttttttt, wearing outtttttt, weaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaring oooooouuuttttt, wearing outtt, wearing outt....




huaaaaaaaaa..... sambil mendengarkan dashboard confessional "bitter pill'', lelah diri saya ini harus makan hati terus. apalagi kalau bukan masalah pekerjaan. teman saya biadab yang baik bilang, tidak boleh mengeluh dalam bekerja, karena kalau sudah mengeluh, pekerjaan bakal gak selesai-selesai dan tambah malas. oke, saya kerjakan kerjaan saya. dan seorang teman yang baik saya paksa untuk mengirim lagu-lagu dashboard confessional untuk saya nyanyikan (aka jerit-jerit lirik lagunya) sambil ngerjain semuanya. sedikit lega, tapi campur aduk sama kepingin nangis. liriknya yang ng-emo.haha. membuat hati saya makin tidak enak.
sudah lama saya tidak mendengarkan lagu-lagunya DC. jadi begitu lagunya muter, jerit-jeritlah saya. tidak peduli teman kerja yang mesem-mesem ama kaget kok tiba-tiba temennya jadi sarap. tapi tambah keras jeritan saya, tambah berat hati ini memikirkan semuanya(kerjaan) yang tak berujung. hu hu. serasa didesak-desak sampe sesak napas. bagus kalo sampe gak bisa napas lagi, ini enggak. udah sesak napas, gak didesak. gak sesak napas, didesak lagi. kayak layangan ditarik ulur.

keadaan, betapa teganya dirimu membuat semuanya tidak selesai! i need a break from routine.
ato memang sayaya yang ruwet.. oh nooooo... this feeling of despair is never wearing out!